SHIT. I can't believe it. I really can't. I can't believe I haven't written my blog for 3 months, and then the first thing I write after these three months would be about... HIM.

Oh shit. Really can't let myself faint again. For health reason of course, and for... oh SHIT. I just can't believe that just happened. I actually fell for that damned old affection-panic trick. It must have been becos I was out of my mind then. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! After 10 years, and it happens NOW.

Saturday before last, I had everything really, sent the research proposal to my two referees to read and ask them to confirm they really would be my referees, waited until Monday night, thought I would probably give up cos the deadline was Wednesday. Then got an email from referee 1 on Tuesday morning, saying that I had to fulfill one or more of three conditions in order to stand a chance to be admitted, which I did not have any of them. So I thought by saying this, he had subtly implied that I should not apply. Fine, will let go and maybe apply again next time. So write him an email back, telling him that I still wanted to do the research even if I wasn't admitted, and then went out and had fun with my friends.

Went home at 9pm on Tuesday, checked email and nothing important, then started writing Theo's story, when checked email again at 9.30 and there was an email from referee 1 again, telling me to 'apply ASAP, deadline is tomorrow!', I suddenly found myself in a mad rush, trying to get everything together and apply online at 11pm. Then suddenly remembered that although referee 1 gave me the green light to apply asap, he never said that he agreed to be my referee, furthermore, I never got anything from the constantly busy referee 2 as well. Based on referee 1 telling me to go ahead, I assumed that he would agree to be my referee, and since referee 2 was even more enthusiastic than I was, I assumed that he would agree too, and I signed them up to be my official referees.

The next morning at 9 am spot on, I called the music department office and ask the lady to contact my two referees for me. Eventually after about a million phone calls to different people, I finally got things sorted and they both contacted me to say that they were happy to support me and be my referee. Referee 2 actually called me in person and told me that he had put my case straight to the Faculty as a special case and ask them to consider the chance of my admission and getting the studentship. It was so great that he happened to be the associated Dean of Arts Faculty.

I always consider myself to be a not very lucky person, like buy lottery tickets never winning anything, even when I did get something I then lost my wallet along with it, never getting anything in lucky draws of any kind. BUT then, I always consider myself having a lot of 'Noble people' in my life. We Chinese believe that everyone is normal, but when you come across some people and bring them good things, you are their 'noble person'. although the numerous 'noble people' in my life never brought me lottery money and such like, they always help me on the way, when I really really need them. I don't know... maybe it's better than winning the lottery, is it?

I seriously don't know, but I am happy.

I am grateful for all of you who helped me on the way.

I have so much I want to say, many things happened in this week, but I am really exhausted, maybe will write them up later.

Just want to say that I went to Central yesterday, to the two new western style supermarkets, and saw lots of very interesting stuff, things that don't usually see in HK. Also went to Mandarin Oriental (Hotel) to have their beautifully delicious doughnut, even my bf who doesn't really like doughnut said it was really good.

After we went home to put the stuff down (in the fridge), a friend of ours suddenly called, and this friend said that he was coming out of Chai Wan (where he lives), normally he NEVER comes out unless he NEEDs to, and come have dinner with us, it was like a miracle!

Saw something about Topshop opening in America the other day. That girl said that she didn't want to see Topshop clothes being wore by LV girls (girls wearing LV bags). I thought, since when did LV (brand) become so low fashioned and cheap, that would make Topshop become cheap as well being seen with it?

I SCREAMed out loud and hard at my goldfish of a student this morning. The first 5 mins I got there, sat down and asked him to do an exercise He didn't even look before making a face and said 'I don't know! HOW would I know anything about it at all?' I was so angry about him not even looking at it before opening his fucking mouth, I said 'You don't know? You don't even look before you open your mouth to say no. You don't know the word "fish"? You don't know the word "want"? You don't understand the sentence "Do you want the fish?"? Why don't you open your eyes and look before you make that face and say you don't know? And now you ask me how you would know anything about it? How wouldn't you know anything about it?'

After finishing the exercise, he actually said the exercise was easy. Then why the fuch did he say that in the first place?

I don't mind students being stupid, or slow, but I hate students who say they don't know before actually looking at the things in front of them.

I went to a small noodles shop yesterday with my bf. It was a famous shop in HK, there were constantly many people eating there. So we had to share a table with a father and his two young sons (about 7 and 5). The first second we sat down: 'This is not spicy at all! It doesn't have ANY taste at all!' The elder of the two sons said very loudly. The first second I set eye on his face, I saw this expression that made me really want to slap him hard... =.= Then he kept screaming that the noodles had no taste and how spicy he could eat, he kept putting chili sauce in his bowl of noodles, kept making that shit expression, awhile later another bowl of noodles came for his dad, and it was a bowl of spicy noodles, the father had the first bite, nearly spitted it back out and said it was so bloody spicy. Eventually the father swapped the bowl of noodles with his son as he kept screaming his noodles didn't have any taste. The boy shutted up straight away after the first bite, grabbed his glass of lemon tea and drank hard, then kept saying it was not spicy (again), but I saw his eyes getting redder and redder, his mouth looked like it was going to breath out fire when his father wasn't watching (but I WAS!). Such a dump arse little boy, being so arrogant and trying so hard to pretend he's great, but he's just a pile of shit. I was so happy when I saw him stopped eating after a short while, his dad said: 'Why don't you finish it?' He said: 'I have had enough.' His dad said: 'You don't normally eat that little!' I was so glad! Say I am naughty but I felt so happy!

I felt such a shame for his dad for having a son like that, the father and the younger of the two sons didn't look like that at all, nor did they had the same kind of arrogant air about them, don't know why they had a son and brother acting so differently from them. (Though they did look remarkably similar)

I woke up this morning, looked into the mirror, and saw the face reflected back to me in the way that you see in advertistment: 'lightened up from within'. MY skin condition was so good that I couldn't really believe it, it was the best in as long as I could remember. I felt so happy about it, I decided to put some make up on, the foundation actually merged with the skin and lied so well and so smoothly on my face. Don't know what is doing the magic as I have started using a few new products these two days, but will keep using the stuff and see what will happen. :P

Have I sleep walked? Or I had a fit? If I had a fit, I wouldn't dress myself and go to my bro's room to sleep, and let the dogs out... if I sleep walked... why did I bit my lips so hard that they bruised but I didn't wake up?

God... I am in serious trouble... I probably need a thorough body check, but I don't want to tell my dad, and I don't want to have to go to the hospital... and I need to go my proposal... SHIT...

SHIT
SHIT
SHIT

Got up first thing in the morning, went to the cinema to watch Rocky 6. Such a great film. It talks about the problems an old man faces and how he copes with them. It is not so much about Boxing, it's more about different kinds of Love, Love between a couple, friends, father and son. I was so touched that I cried towards the end of the film. My tears were in my eyes for ages until the last punch of the fight, my tears fell down with it as if on cue. I was still deeply touched by it long after we were back home.

I think it pretty much represented Stallone's own view about himself, and I think it would be very sentimental for himself to watch from first to sixth. It is kind of a milestone for him, a statement for his achievement. A man of sixty training himself up again for this film, this is an achievement in itself. He is not a man only has muscles and no brain, because he wrote the script for all six of them, each one of them has some very delicate touches, like there is a scene about him taking out a name card from his pocket, the first thing he took out was a piece of tissue, and he said something about feeling like a kangaroo with lots of things in the pocket, and I think this is very much how old people feel sometimes, he made me think of Paddy... (this is what he usually do!)

Love it for having all the original actors in this film again, love it for he loves his wife so much, love it being directed by Stallone still, after 30 years. Love it for he still talks like he did in the first one. Love it for the lump of cheese as big as a mountain (:p).

'stuff in the basement'

'The last thing to age is a man's heart.'

'Only cowards point fingers to others.'

Must watch it again so that I can write down parts of the script.
Must collect the whole set and treasure it.

Not really something a girl should do, especially one as young as me. I haven't even been born yet when Rocky (1) came out (1976).

Say what you like about how stupid I am, but Hell, I LOVE IT.

I am so sorry I missed you today, just as I was going to ask you something, I dropped the notebook on the floor! It shutted itself in the fall and hung when I opened it up again. So I had to turn the damn thing off and restart it again. Then when it restarted the harddisc took ages to load... T.T

Was going to ask you something... hope will catch you soon... but tomorrow is Sunday so I guess will have to wait till Monday... T.T

But really want to know your point about something... :P

Literally just got in the door from tuition, still have my boots on, rushed up here to write my blog. WHY? Cos I saw this REALLY sexy guy when I was in tuition. When I got upstairs to their new apartment to play piano with the little boy, I saw this REALLY tall and slender figure -- fixing the new curtain (wahaha) for the boy's new apartment. Apparently he was a guy who fixes curtains... um... but never mind that (:p). My heart actually beat once more than usual (Seriously!) when I saw his really defined jaw line. I think I DO have a thing about masculine jaw line... um... (delicious!) he looked about 23/34, with a REALLY deep voice when he spoke (sexy!!!!), and I like the way that he spoke with so much confidence and didn't have that shyness when spoke to strangers (some people do when they go to a strange place).

He isn't really handsome as such, but I like his jaw line, dark skin, deep and confident voice...

God I think I am going mad.

HELP!!!!!!

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I think I am going nuts.

I can't believe that I have officially graduated. I have taken the graduation photos on the first of January. A nice thing to do on the first day of a year, after all you don't get to do this every first day of year. :P

Anyway, am doing the Mphil proposal to be handed in before the 31st of January, am working hard (?) for it but friends are being pessimistic that we would never get a place... T.T

Well... will try my best and see what happens.